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Monsters

18 Aug

I’m researching my next novel at the moment, which involves a lot of gory crime scene reports and crimal psychology (especially sexual psychology). I’m not easily freaked out by that kind of thing but following a discussion a few posts ago (“Rape is not just about sex”), I have successfully been disturbed by ten year olds. (I read the Jamie Bulger case notes). Despite any similarities between the murder and Child’s Play 3, which sounds a ridiculous film, I am still unconvinced that it played a direct role in the killing. Regardless of the age rating of a film, you have to be pretty disturbed to recreate the scenarios in the first place. Whether people are born evil and whether the boys should have spent the rest of their lives in solitary is another matter… It’s the kind of thing I debate in my head and then write about.
EDIT: Nietzsche said: β€œHe who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” I can see how thisΒ  can happen- how one can be desensitised to horror. Photography is a prime example- it must be easier to look at famine and war when it’s through a lens- it’s just TV, your job is to record it. (That isn’t to say that all photographers become cold hard bastards- the man who took the hideous vulture/child picture killed himself afterward).

I (and many other writers) take a slightly morbid joy in writing death scenes. It isn’t real- I’m not actually disembowelling that guy… but to create a pretend person only to murder them shortly afterward is a very strange thing when you sit down to think about it! I’m a very visual person- I love writing any kind of description actually- nature, food, clothing, personal appearance… (I hate sex scenes though- there are just not enough words in the English language, which contains the word ‘moist’ which I’m still forgiving it for.) So here I am, sitting down to kill someone (and procrastinating, which meant my mind wandered off on a tangent, and now here I am blogging instead.)
I want to create the next Hannibal Lecter, Norman Bates- I want a character who will be mentioned time and time again by reviewers and fans. I want to disturb people- it’s horror-esque crime after all! The thing is, people are freaked out by different things- the ‘safe driving’ advert with the little girl coming back to life never got anything from me except an eyeroll. The Daily Mail posted a video/photo the other day so disturbing that it made me cry. (If you’re a regular reader or know me personally, you’ll know that is rare. Both the crying and the Daily Mail reading- I followed a link.) As for freaking out? The character I made is a woman. I am hoping one of the first women in fiction to kill for anything other than monetary gain or revenge, which I hope will make readers look twice. That’s all for spoilers- you’ll have to read it when I’m done. πŸ˜‰

If you fancy reading something that may or may not be an extract, there’s a teeny bit of something I wrote on here:

As always, there are pictures of me below, and I happen to be wearing Cthulhu- indisputably a big scary monster and drawn as an octopus-y squid thingy. (By the way, giant squids have only been accepted as fact for a decade or two! I remember reading debates in paranormal magazines- now they’re crossword answers in wildlife magazines. This fact may only be awesome to me. Forget I said anything…)Β  πŸ˜›

Photographer: Pirate Photography
Make-up/hair/styling: Me
(been wanting to share these for ages- I couldn’t until Alternative Revolution came out as some were featured)

This is also Zivity teaser- if you’d like to see the whole set, the pictures are right HERE and if you aren’t on Zivity, you can unlock the set for $2 (that’s about Β£1!!)

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ROSWELL xxx

Urban Decay

14 Aug

So, earlier this year, I had another shoot with Magpie Photography (formerly G Haskew, but he couldn’t get used to people calling him ‘Gee’) πŸ˜› who is most known for his urban exploring and expertise in fence climbing with a camera strapped to his back . If you love abandoned buildings, freaky old houses and military facilities straight out of the X-Files, you really really should check him out.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I’m not photoshopped into the locations below.

I’m wearing an awesome dress by Pandora Deluxe (red is my favourite latex colour!), a hat by who-the-heck-knows-on-ebay but I love it, and my trusty New Rocks. πŸ˜€

Oh, and of course I got naked. I love my job.

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I’m off today to see one of my favourite ladies, Anita De Bauch for giggles and yummy food. Hopefully, this will help cure my writers block! I’ve been working on my steampunk story… in fact, as the above pictures look a little steampunk and I’m feeling confident today, want to read the blurb??

Here you go:

Ellison Clare is a private investigator with an unusual firm. While his colleagues are investigating rogue scientists and keeping nameless things on the lower floors of the headquarters, Ellison’s obsession is arresting the conman Marius. One evening, Ellison arrives at the unveiling of the Indigo Glass- a machine Marius claims to have invented; a machine which can show departed souls. Suspecting that it is a ploy to part grieving people from their money, Ellison’s theory is shattered when he sees something he does not expect in the machine. Before he can investigate further, a shot is fired which kills Marius and destroys the Indigo Glass.
Ellison’s search for the truth about the man and the machine leads him to the socialites of The Dinium- where appearances can mask many things and scientists are revered above all… and the circus freakshow- origin of Marius’s ‘Marvellous Collection of Oddities’ and home of a woman afraid for her soul- Seraph Murcia: ‘The Demon Of The West’. *

* worry not- I haven’t gone all Twilight- it’s just her stage name. πŸ˜‰

I also want to say thanks sooooo much to the lovely person who sent me a gift from my wishlist!
HOWEVER…
I don’t know who you are, Mr or Mrs X! Can you send me a message with your name and mailing address please, as well as telling me what the gift was- so I can send you a little present in return?

I think that’s all for today, as I’d like to get ten minutes of yoga in before I go. πŸ™‚

Speak to you soon!

ROSWELL xxx

‘spiration

31 Mar

Happy slightly-belated Ostara and blessed be to my fellow pagans, Happy Easter to my Christian friends, and Happy International Chocolate Scoffing Day to everyone else. πŸ˜‰

Oh, viewers, I’ve been neglecting you! I had some fantastic news about my writing and so I dropped everything in order to meet a scary deadline. Pleased to say that the deadline was in fact, today and I made it!!! I have finished my second draft (which is the final major draft) of my novel so I can now stop ending entries with “got to go- I’m stuck on Chapter Nine”! πŸ˜‰

So, what other news can I tell you? Well, I’ve lost half a stone and that’s what I’d like to tell you all about today. πŸ˜€
Now, if somebody large enough to be considered unhealthy by today’s society decides to lose weight, the world is in general, supportive. However, as a model and person of about average (maybe a little smaller than average) size, I find that if I mention toning up, losing weight or exercising, I find myself fielding the same questions on a regular basis. Now, I could rant, but as I’ve already had one of those recently and am feeling happy today, I’m going to take the time to have a chat about it all…

“What diet are you following?”
I do not believe diets promote sustainability so what I have done is change my entire lifestyle:
– Exercise as many days as possible (if it’s a busy day, leave it and don’t feel bad)
– Drink more water
– Begin each day with a green smoothie.
– Cut down on dairy significantly
– Cut out sweet things entirely, with the exception of fruit.

“Is this due to industry pressure?”
Yes, and no.
I am capable of quite surprising greed. (I do not mean ‘three chocolates and a diet Coke”- I mean I am capable of eating an entire tub of ice cream in one go. Not that I do this any more, but I have been known to. Mostly as a student…) Ignoring the potential weight gain for a moment, this is not a balanced or healthy way of living. When I’m writing, I spend all day on my butt in front of the computer and get no exercise at all, which is also less-than-healthy. Therefore, no. I’m doing this for me.
However, I see nude pictures of myself almost daily which form a relatively accurate ‘size diary’. If I am untoned, I do not find myself as attractive as when I am toned. I am naturally very curvy with large muscular thighs, therefore I will usually be bigger than most models I am paired with. As long as I am toned and healthy like a comic book heroine, I can accept this. However, if my muscles are hidden under a little bit of fat and I’ve eaten badly all month, then of course I feel self-conscious. In this way, yes- I am doing this so I look better in my images and I do not feel this is a bad thing.

“You don’t want to look like Kate Moss, do you?”
If I wanted to resemble Kate Moss, I would snort my bodyweight in cocaine, stop giving the impression I have any grey matter between my ears and purr “get the London look” at regular intervals. (Not a Moss fan here- can you tell?) πŸ˜‰
In all seriousness though, I am losing fat in order to show off the toned muscles underneath. I am not trying to change my body shape. I have breasts, a bum and thighs. Unless I became very very ill, this would not change no matter how thin I got.

“But you’re beautiful as you are!”
That is so very kind of you, and thankyou! I really do appreciate the sentiment, but I would like to be a little- just a little- smaller, and so I am working hard to achieve that.

Most people who spend a lot of time online know about what people like Dawn Porter call “that SHOCKING trend for… ugh… ‘thinspiration’. Oh… oh my god, I can’t BELIEVE IT!” Basically, it is inspiration for people with eating disorders- words, pictures, GIFs etc that encourage unhealthy weight loss.
However, I discovered FITspiration by accident a little while ago and have enjoyed following blogs and saving images ever since. It is what I would call an antidote to thinspiration- promoting health and exercise over weight loss, though there are some good weight loss ones too. I’d like to share some of my “fit folder” images with you.

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If you’d like to see more, just google “fitspiration” and if you have a question I haven’t covered, feel free to mail me- I always respond to messages and comments. πŸ™‚

For now though, have a lovely picture I forgot to post a year ago! It’s by Artrotika and I’m looking all tranquil and balanced. Just the way I feel at the moment! πŸ˜€

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See you soon, everyone- I have to go and wri… wait, no. I’m going to put my feet up!

ROSWELL xxx

The Abstract

19 Jan

I’m having a quiet month at the moment while I work on writing, but I still have some shoots (and a fitting for a lingerie company!) coming up. I also made my debut on Beltbound on Sunday.

Writing-wise, I’ve just published an article with Univers D’Artistes and it’s all about abstract art-nudes. Go and have a look- you can see some of my favourite pictures there as well. πŸ™‚ (My next piece is going to discuss wherther genital photography can ever be artistic.)
I’ve been waiting to post that particular article on art-nudes because it goes so well with the rest of my photos from Allan Schaap (in the Netherlands)!Β  The first set (taken in a woodland)Β  are in a previous post HERE. I can’t say enough what a great time I had in Lelystad where we were shooting! It’s a part that was reclaimed from the sea and has a desert in the middle. It was such a surprise to see it after leaving the leafy woodland and reminded me a little of the ‘dead’ planet in Pitch Black!


See!?


I could see the desert a few feet away!


Washed here by the ghosts of waves…

And then we found a log!


There’s something very strange/eerie about this set that I like- maybe it’s because you can’t see my face. Definitely some of my favourite art-nudes that I have done- and I’d love to do more on a similar theme. Can you tell I have a ‘thing’ for abstract(ish) art-nudes at the moment?? πŸ˜‰

This is Allan and Joyce photographing me photographing them photographing me…

 

ROSWELL xxx

p.s. Did I mention I communicated with The Greys? πŸ˜‰

………..

2011.

31 Dec

Happy New Year to my friends in Australia and New Zealand, and a pre-emptive Happy New Year to everyone else!

Thanks also for the Christmas e-mails! It was lovely- I got some amazing presents and got to see my cat too- though it seems so far away now! πŸ˜€

I’ve been thinking about 2011 and New Year Resolutions. I don’t generally believe in New Year Resolutions as I think that if you want to make a change, do it now and don’t wait- but there is something about coming to the end of one year that makes me think about what I want from the next.

In 2011, I intended to learn French (well, THAT didn’t happen!) but other than that, I achieved many of my goals- especially spending time with my current friends and making new ones. My main sadness came from so many people dying. Please, no more death.

In 2012, I want to finish “Saving Bailey” (my second novel), lose weight (in general, I like my body but at the same time, I would like to be slightly thinner while keeping my breasts and bum), increase my flexibility even more (oh yes!), and do more for the Earth and our wildlife (I don’t have a vast amount of money but at the very least, writing something or volunteering are things I can do). There are other things on my list- but they’re secret! πŸ˜‰

I’ve been waiting to post these pictures for AGES and there are many more on their way! Last summer, I took part in a project at Adrian Pini’s studio with David Long, Adele Kirby and Anita De Bauch among many other rocking people.

Check us out! L-R: Emma, Me, David, Adele, Harsh. (Anita was at the next shoot.)

David, Adele and myself all write and so we worked on writing a story each and then photo-illustrating them! As all the stories had some kind of fantasy or sci-fi element to them, we worked on a greenscreen (my first time!) so the backgrounds and effects could be added later.

These are stills from “The Conduit”, by David Long

Enter the baddies: Adele…

… and Anita

I can’t wait to show you some of the shots where we’re posing together!!!

My long lost love. So sad.

Phew! He’s okay πŸ˜€

Adele wrote a story called “Life In Me”: have a still!

I be a princess!

The others from this story are still works in progress- as are the ones from my children’s story “The Black House Magician”.Β  (It’s my version of the myth of Galatea where a man builds a statue and falls in love with her). Can’t wait to show you. πŸ˜€

It was so much fun working with these guys- bring on the next project!

The mastermind having one of “those” moments

Working…

Emma brings the chillin’

Our stick is EPIC!!!

“I’d hit it. Yeah, with the stick maybe…”

Bring it on, 2012!

ROSWELL xxx