A little bit of news…

14 Oct

I’ve been all mysterious recently… I had to postpone photoshoots (which I NEVER do). I’ve been in hospital. It’s time to reveal all!!!
I hate secrets... 😛

On June 22nd, I was sterilised.

Almost every parent I know says that having a child is one of the most life changing things you can do. (Possibly THE most, in my opinion.) Nothing can prepare you for the reality and it is a permanent, life altering decision. Hold that thought…

As many of you may remember, I’ve been fighting to be sterilised for a long time. If you’re a newcomer, my rant is here but I’ll summarise:

I’ve never wanted children and hormonal contraception is not good for me. As I’m nearly 30, I decided enough was enough and wanted to be free of the worry once and for all. I am aware that this is a permanent decision. I have been reminded of this by friends, strangers and medical professionals and I have been fully aware of the permanence of this option since I was eight.
None of my friends with children are continually reminded by shocked people that their decision to bring another human into the world and be responsible for them for at least the next eighteen years is irreversible. None of my friends have been told “you’ll change your mind” on announcing their pregnancy. The decision whether or not to bear a child is a serious choice concerning our bodies and fertility and if age 28 (as I was) is old enough to permanently become a parent then it is old enough to permanently choose not to. What matters is having the right to make the decision in the first place. You (or ‘one’) may feel I’ve made the wrong choice, but that choice should be mine to make.

As I said in my viral rant, I got a rejection letter regarding funding. What had not been explained to me was that while funding was denied by my local hospital (which could be for any legitimate reason), it was not denied altogether- I’d just have to go to a different hospital. So when a different hospital called me for an appointment, I was grouchily prepared for a stern finger-wagging and another assertion that I was too young to make such a permanent decision. (As though parenthood is temporary…)
Not so. I walked into the doctor’s office and… SURPRISE STERILISATION! I embarrassingly enough burst into tears at the shock and relief. Yes he went through the usual questions (permanent, surgery risks etc, other options) but prefaced each question with the words “I legally have to ask…” which made all the difference. So we set a day for surgery and off I went!
The actual surgery, waiting times and hospital details were stressful and horrid (if you have questions, mail me directly- I’m happy to be open but don’t want to publicly overshare medical stuff) but the nurses were amazing, took care of me and ‘my needy boyfriend’ (the drip I was attached to) and as I was severely dehydrated, I spent the night in hospital where I got a 5am wake-up call in the form of a woman giving birth on the floor below. Changed my mind yet? Naaaaah…

Moving on! Photographers- please worry not. I have two tiny scars- one hidden in my bellybutton, one hidden just below my pubic hairline. I’m back to what passes for normal in my life. 😉

Still a fetish model, but almost everything in the shots are mine (and the coat was made by yours truly…)



9 Responses to “A little bit of news…”

  1. christhegoth October 14, 2016 at 7:54 pm #

    Congrats! I’d love to be a jaffa. Firing live rounds is bloody scary! :/

  2. Michael A Robb October 15, 2016 at 2:08 pm #

    Roswell have just read your blog and will say that was very moving to know what you have been getting done back in June, speaking for myself i never wanted to have children but i did end up being a father to four of them, can i just say there is always the adoption route if you do feel the urge to be a parent later on in life, yes life goes on and i’m sure you will find fulfilment in the path that you take in this wonderful world lovely lady.

    • roswellivory November 17, 2016 at 6:16 pm #

      Thankyou so much for the kind words and support! 🙂 If, if, IF I was ever to change my mind, there is no question that I would adopt. 🙂

  3. PJM74 October 16, 2016 at 2:14 pm #

    I think the best thing to say would be to wish you well on your new stage in life, so to speak … and really, it’s your decision so hopefully you’re happy with it and/or cool with how it turned out … it’s a personal decision so truly, best wishes ….

    And are you looking to illustrate any short sequential/comic book scripts? Have some short scripts from 1 page to 100 pages available … since you mentioned illustrating thought I’d mention it …

    Regardless, thanks for sharing your personal journey and I hope all is well …

    Best wishes,


    • roswellivory November 17, 2016 at 6:23 pm #

      Thankyou so much for the good wishes! 🙂

      I certainly would be interested in the future. 🙂

  4. Frivolous Monsters October 28, 2016 at 11:17 pm #

    I guess it’s hard to put ourselves in your shoes as that’s a decision that the majority – I imagine – wouldn’t ever get around to considering. Also I’m a bit male…and a bit squeamish…so it doesn’t bear thinking about the specifics too much, but I am happy for you that you’ve sorted everything out.

    All my best,


  5. xsimko November 21, 2016 at 9:25 pm #

    My congratulations! I remember your rant and even replied it, so it doubles the pleasure to know that you won this fight. Wish you strong health and good luck in all your adventures. =) Respectfully, Max.

    • roswellivory November 25, 2016 at 2:28 pm #

      Lol!!! Thankyou for the good wishes. 😀

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