I’m back in the UK! There are queues, it is chilly AND I LOVE IT! I’m now trying not to squish all of my thoughts at once in this entry as I’m in the middle of an article about alt life and don’t want to overlap!
Anyway… people in Brooklyn were very very friendly. I don’t think I was heckled once about my clothing (though the men are creepzoids about other things.) Even when I’ve been feeling really low, seeing monarch butterflies and then hearing “nice shoes, miss” from a gang of girls has never failed to make me smile. I think people are often afraid to ask for kindness from strangers- no one wants to be “that needy weirdo in room 5” but when it’s given (asked for or not) when it is truly needed, it is not only the difference between a bad day and an okay one but can truly feel like a lifeline. Like you have been rescued.
When I got sick during Montreal Fetish Weekend, I was really overwhelmed by the kindness of the people around me- especially as it was something I hadn’t dealt with before or even seen in someone else (salt deficiency, white like a ghost, close to fainting, uncontrollable shaking, unable to fully breathe in) and I’m not sure what I’d have done without those same people looking out for me. If you’re reading this, thankyou. Really, thankyou.
It’s hard sometimes to know whether you’d rather be alone, or have someone by just to say “it’s going to be fine”. I’ve always thought though that things happen for a reason. And it just happened that one of the friends I met was going through something horrible herself. She wanted to forget, just for a weekend, that she was “the girl that had this awful thing happen” and have her mind distracted- I needed to be taken care of for a couple of hours. And so it worked.
I think the experience inspired my modelling, for when I posed for my host Paul Ward alongside amazing model Indefinite Anomaly, we ended up doing a lot of very interesting poses that could have been themed around this concept. (Though of course we had other themes and poses in mind too- there were three of us on the team after all.)
By the way, just to let you know- I’m okay now. I’m back in familiar land with a lot of books and films, and though things are going to be unsettled for a while I have the best friends in the world. 😉 And some flipping amazing fans too!
And just to prove that models are often goofy doofuses, this is our lighting test. Kindly play THIS SONG while appreciating the effort and styling put into that peace-out/duckface combination on the left, and the timeless quality of the ballerina-trying-a-whelk pose on the right.
p.s. Oh, and I made a new feathered friend…