I see rude people. (A rant)

10 May

Please forgive me for hiding under a blanket, but I have something worrying to tell you:
I see rude people.

They’re walking around like regular people. They don’t know they’re rude. They’re everywhere…

And right now, my mood is summed up by the words “stabbity”, “stab” and “stab”!!! >:(((((
In the past few days, I have had the misfortune to encounter these assets to society:

#1- Etiquette for the new generation
I am a 6-foot tall person trapped in a 5-foot-7 person’s body, so these are my everyday shoes:

I understand that they attract more than a few glances (and outright stares), and they are sometimes a good conversation-starter (weirdly it’s almost always children and little old ladies who like them!) but this was something else:
I was looking at the pretty gardens at the Eden Project (that’s another post), when a man walked up next to me with two young children and extended his index finger…
“Hey, hey kids! Look at that woman’s shoes! Aren’t they strange- she’s so tall in them. They’re like stilts! Maybe she keeps her lunch in them.”
It was at this point in my speechless dumbfounded fog that remembered I have a voice:
“Excuse me, maybe her father taught her that it’s rude to point at total strangers!”
He gave a nervous giggle and backed off, saying to his children “I don’t think she liked me talking about her shoes
No, fool man!!! I have no problem discussing my attire but I don’t like being talked about as if I’m an exhibit in a zoo! Sadly by the time the above sentence had taken shape in my brain, he had rapidly turned a corner and I was left with some dust and the refrains of his children singing “poo-poo-poo-poo…..”

#2 They loiter in woodlands…
I was booked for an art-nude photoshoot here:

Isn’t it pretty??
I was posing, pretending to be a dryad while watching the deer on the other side of a little fence- and occasionally making a mad dash for my phone so I could take pictures of the buzzards and red kites circling overhead. When it was lunchtime, I dressed and dived head-first into my sandwich bag, oblivious to the outside world… until I heard the words “you don’t have to. She’ll be fine”. The photographer (who was very nice), was talking to a man by the fence and both were now walking toward me holding cameras.
Strange man, trousers up to his armpits: Hi there, I just wanted to apologise for interrupting your shoot.
Me: No problem.
SM,TUTHA: I couldn’t possibly… *waves camera*
Me: (looking at camera) I’m really sorry- I’m working today but here’s my business card. You can book your own shoot with me.
SM, TUTHA: Oh please? Just a close-up?
Photographer: Not appropriate!
Me: *assuming he means “just a quick headshot against a tree”* Sorrry, no.
SM, TUTHA: *starts to walk away, then comes back* Pretty pretty please? Just a little close-up?
Me/Photographer: NO!!!

It turns out I was wrong. He wasn’t holding a camera- he was holding binoculars. The “little close-up” he wanted was of my BOOBS!!!
He has my business card…
Which links to my website…
Which links to my blog.

Dear rude creepy man channelling Simon Cowell, you are lucky I took your binoculars for a camera. Had I realised what you were really after, you would have lost an arm.

#3 Of mice and morons…
I wanted to call this one “pig”, but an old friend’s voice is echoing in my head: “pigs are intelligent and sensitive creatures- and you’re insulting them!”
On my first day off modelling in a while, I went to bounce around the New-Age shop. I was choosing incense when I heard a gasp from around the side, where there are replicas of neolithic deities and Sheela-na-Gigs. I guessed this was the source of the customer’s horror. Nope- earwigging on the conversation, the source of the outrage was a tarot set (not pornographic, just aimed at gay people).
The… creature… stormed out of the door amid a loud and obvious rant about “tarot sets for queens” (sadly, I can’t convey online the way in which the last word was spat but I assure you a king cobra has less venom.)

I have come across misguided religious people before, but this was something else. Maybe the gentleman doth protest too much? I don’t know- but as a bisexual woman, homophobia makes me SO angry and when I’m angry, tears of rage come like a very embarrassing tidal wave. Thanks to my friends for their concern and especially to Anita for taking care of me.
At least the encounter has given me the kick up the butt I needed to get reviewing the film “Milk” for a magazine.

A conversation in the shop concluded that the man’s karmic retribution should be a rebirth in the form of one of those tiny mice farmed to be killed and fed to pet boa-constrictors. 😀

As an antidote to all the rudeness, I have some photos from Barcelona Fetish Weekend, which was a fantastic event, full of lovely friendly people. I don’t think I heard any nastiness in the whole three days! These photos are by Jesus Sevilla, featuring the lovely dress HMSlatex lent me for the occasion!
Hair/Make-up by me.


12 Responses to “I see rude people. (A rant)”

  1. Kitty May 10, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

    people are such idiots. I get so many looks at work cause my shoes are platforms. Its a lot better down here for people less judgemental though, I haven’t encountered anyone that made me feel physically threatened yet.
    ps. you look amazing in those photos, hair looks fab!

    • roswellivory May 11, 2011 at 10:56 am #

      I know- I had just had enough (enough to bawl in the middle of the street which is VERY unlike me).
      Thankyou so much- HMS is one of my favourite designers!! I just quickly plaited the hair to get it out of my eyes 🙂

  2. Romantic Dominant May 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    I can understand why you you need to rant .. but it is such a well written rant that it was actually great fun to read.

    The dress is a wonderful creation and modelled perfectly.

    • roswellivory May 11, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

      Lol! Thanks (I try not to rant too much but this time I had to say something!)
      And thankyou- HMSlatex is one of my favourite designers! I’m off to visit her in a couple of weeks…

  3. Alex B. May 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

    You did a shoot at Isabella Plantation in Richmond Park! I too went there on 25th April. Is it not an amazing location? I recognised the spot.
    You look great in all your pictures


    • roswellivory May 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

      The bluebells? It’s actually in the Chilterns, just outside London- but I know Richmond Park well, having relatives there. I love the deer and the little green parakeets (although they keep me awake at night!) 😀
      Thankyou so much 🙂 New post coming soon, with photos from an amazing location in Cornwall.

      R xx

      • Alex B. May 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

        That really fooled me. I know the Chilterns. I will be in Cornwall soon, really looking forward to it

  4. David May 11, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    Great Rant. The guy with the binoculars is unbelievable! I’d say things will improve but unfortunately rude people seem to be on the rise. If only we could do some kind of selective breeding out of the rude gene. Unforuntely, they seem to be able to stay polite long enough to find someone willing to procreate with them – doh!

    Lovely pictures, HMS at their best.

    Did you get any pics back from your workshops that you can show?


    • roswellivory May 15, 2011 at 1:14 am #

      Lol! Thanks 🙂 I couldn’t believe it- I’m clearly just too sweet and innocent for the profession!
      Makes me so ridiculously annoyed- I sat there teaching my hypothetical children (that I shall never have) how to be polite to people!

      I’m still waiting- the last one was only a week but I should have photos soon… 🙂

  5. Anita De Bauch May 12, 2011 at 12:27 am #

    #1 photo especially = epic nom ^^

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