So, it struck me while watching The Great Gatsby* how true it is that the proverbial grass is greener.
There was an aerial shot of New York City that I’m guessing was filmed from a helicopter- illustrating how huge and full of opportunity and scandal 20s New York was. It weirdly gave me goosebumps as due to my constant travelling and modelling on location, I swing from being literally on top of the world to part of the underworld in secret fetish clubs and sleeping in hostels. Shots like that one make anyone feel small- so insignificant within cities that are have beeen awarded their own personalities by writers and artists time and time again. I feel as though I should be aiming to climb to a higher place literally. Yet I have been in those places- the hotels that watch the tiny people down in the street, alone and practically among the clouds. And you know what… I want to be down there! Being so far removed from the streets and the people living their lives, I then feel as though I am missing something huge- something important down there. It’s that that makes me leave my hostel for the nearest lonely hill, and then in turn my hotel for the nearest coffee shop or writer hangout. I suppose really, it’s the combined determination for success and fear of missing something extraordinary but it was epitomised for me, in that shot.
It’s about to start again I’m sure, as I leave for Europe next Monday, but this time, I’m seeing as many friends as possible while I’m out there and should find a happy balance. This isn’t meant to suggest that I am unhappy at all- just that I’ve discovered what that odd feeling is when I have a little time to myself on my travels.
Anyway, I have no 20s-style shots that I can show you right now (they’re being published), so have a reposted behind-the-scenes…
Lingerie by Playful Promises (and I’ve just realised the tearsheet I’m about to post actually features the same lingerie!)
This picture was taken at the end of March. The pictures below were taken in January when I was half a stone heavier. Thought I’d better explain that before someone points it out. The shot below is the most recent one.
I’ve just confirmed I’m definitely going to Dominatrix in July and will be in the running for “Best Up and Coming Fetish Model”! Sooooo exciting! It was a New Year’s Resolution to be in the competition. Voting doesn’t start for some months though, but I’ll let you know when it does.
It seems all of my magazine publications will be out at about the same time, though I do make an appearance in Riot Vixen this month, in a feature about the awesome photographer Luci Alice, who I will be working with again in the next couple of months. Hair/make-up by Leanne Jessica.
And here are some more from this shoot (which we did back in January!)
And something different…
As I’m watching Lord Of The Rings, I will stop writing now and ogle Aragorn’s stubble.
Next entry, I’ll show you some pics of me nude in one of my favourite cities. At night. With a ‘murderwagon.’
* I’d heard the mediocre reviews but as my friend Anita De Bauch hadn’t seen it either, we decided what the hell. The majority of the characters were cold and soulless, but that was part of the point, in my opinion. Shallow and dripping with diamonds (literally), some of the characters existed to watch the others fall, but aren’t we all guilty of that sometimes? Without spoilers, Gatsby goes to insane lengths to attract the attention of Daisy Buchanan- the woman he loved and lost to a complete douchecanoe. The thing is, I saw nothing about her that was appealing. She could barely string the words together to tell Gatsby whether or not she loved him in the first place and I ended up wanting to throw her out of the window in a later scene when two characters argue over her like dogs with a chew toy. (And like the chew toy, she does little more than squeak sadly and wait for a dog to claim her.) Visually stunning though, but not over-the-top like Moulin Rouge; I’d happily freeze shots and put them on my wall – a scene in which some characters drive to New York past a car full of people playing the saxophone and dancing, Toby Maguire as Nick standing under an iridescent tree in the rain rather than disturb another character, Gatsby waiting on the end of his pier silhouetted against the green light on the other side of the water…