Catwoman’s pants

Disclaimer: I haven’t read a comic since about 1993, and it was The Beano my father had left by the loo. I know who Batman is, but couldn’t tell you the difference between Marvel and DC, and don’t know the Watchman from the Avengers. In short, my comic knowledge is dire so I hope I am forgiven for the following entry BUT…

Catwoman does not wash her own pants. She has minions to do that, and other tiresome but necessary things, like the dishes. And buying loo roll. She is never, ever misheard when whispering sexy/bad but cryptic things against the background of police sirens or Gotham City traffic. She is sexy even when in a pre-menstrual sulk, and she is most definitely not Anne Hathaway.

I’ve spent a wonderful week with several different friends and went to see the new Batman film, which I thought rocked… except for Miss Wide-Eyed and Confused. Charlotte from Sex and the City (which I have never watched- in fact I have no idea what it is *cough*) may even do a better Catwoman impression. On the way out of the cinema, my friend Ellen and I got into a discussion of who we’d put in her place. Angelina Jolie, Eva Green and alt model Easy Tiger all made the cut. Halle Berry would have too, if she hadn’t… you know… been in “Catwoman”. *shudder*
Anyway, Anne Hathaway’s attempt to give the feline one a more “human” side got me thinking…

I like my superheroes (or anti-heroes) to be superhuman. I really don’t want to know about their daddy issues, or domestic stuff (the main reason why Hellboy 2 annoyed me- other than the presence of Selma Blair- was the constant domestic arguments and seriously mundane subplot. If I want to see pregnancy confusion, I‘ll watch Hollyoaks.) If it’s integral to the plot, there’s a way to do it that doesn’t make the lead character look as ridiculous as Homer Simpson while they‘re trying to save the world. Hellboy, you can punch through concrete so stop letting your girlfriend whinge that you squeezed the toothpaste the wrong way!
X-men worked, I thought, and Kick Ass kicked Ass. Apparently, according to my comic-knowledgeable friends, the Batman comics began to deal with him getting older, which I thought the film did really well. But Catwoman is not the main character. She’s sexy and bad and fantastic and… Anne Hathaway, stop batting your eyelashes!!! I’m also editing this entry to add that I loved X-men First Class. The “recruitment scene” made it and as the clip I wanted to attach has been taken off youtube, I’ll leave you with some music instead.

Weirdly, a picture I love shows exactly the thing I usually hate in Superhero/comic book films. Check out “Robin”, by Matt Frederick. (Model is Gemma, MUA is Amelia Ebanks)

And as for this entry’s pictures of me… if Catwoman wears underwear (which I’m pretty sure she does), she most definitely gets it from Lux Tenebrae.

ROSWELL xxx

Photos by G Haskew
Leather pretty stuff: Lux Tenebrae

A teaser…

More pictures are coming from this shoot, but it’s by G Haskew and features gorgeous pants by Lux Tenebrae.

As I’m sort of on holiday right now, it’s the shortest entry ever today but I’ll post you a proper entry tomorrow when I’m back. Today, I swam in a lake, got my picture taken, and am staying in a beautiful flat surrounded by all the wildlife in the world.

And here is my bum.

ROSWELL xxx

Selkies and Spartans

I’m watching a TV documentary about eating five portions of fruit/veg a day. It’s interesting- when I began losing weight (other than exercising more), the main change I made to my diet was to plan my meals around five or more portions of fresh or frozen fruit/veg a day. It is quite shocking seeing the amount of companies that have designed their own 5-a-day logo and are pasting it on products that have about half a banana in them and ten spoons of sugar. Apparently, the only legitimate logo is the one of five cubes going from yellow to green.
*goes off to make a raspberry smoothie*

Roswell’s Raspberry Smoothie:
Step one: Put a couple of handfuls of frozen raspberries, about a quarter of a large pot of fat-free yoghurt and a big splash of milk in a blender.
Oh wait, that’s it

Anyway, I went off to the local amazing salt marshes with G Haskew and a piece of flimsy grey material for a photo session.
This place is full of old boats and weathered pieces of wood- all the while we were shooting, I could hear the sea and the nesting birds around us. As it was so windy, there was hardly anyone around and we had the whole marsh to ourselves (and the oystercatchers and the lady with the enormous Irish Wolfhound!) If it wasn’t so cold and windy and didn’t flood every day, I’d have happily slept out there!
I think I look like a Selkie.

As it was freezing on the marsh and enough’s enough, even for a nude model, we got back in the car… and screeched to a halt next to this pretty purple field. I couldn’t *not* make a new dress out of my nice grey material  and stride around pretending to be in the film “The 300″. So I did.

I’m off to bed now as it’s a double birthday tomorrow and I have a present to wrap! (One birthday was my mum’s, but she’s already had her present- I took her to the zoo, which rocked. And now I want a whole flowerpot full of lemurs.)

ROSWELL xxx

p.s. I noticed I still have some free days for the next couple of months before heading out for my Canadian holiday. After that, I have no idea where I’ll be, so if you’re based in London, East Anglia, Nottingham, or even further afield, get in touch through my website!

Why I’m glad to be a 90′s girl!

I was born in ’87, grew up listening to bubblegum pop, watching the X-files and haven’t stopped wearing platform shoes since the Spice Girls started. While I’m definitelymore of a Guns ‘n’ Roses and AC/DC girl now, I still have a soft spot for the 90′s (even though it had Oasis and Take That).

This internet meme has been going around for a while and as a Harry Potter fan, Hermione’s another female character making a good role model, as well as Cat in 10 Things I Hate About You. (Still one of the only “chick flicks” I’ll watch)

While having a chat with my fellow 90′s girl and housemate, something I noticed was that although I followed bands like the Spice Girls like a wannabe-cool-person possessed (hey, I was eleven, okay?) I never saw messy TMI relationship stories and bands slagging each other off in the way they do now.
While I know there were “it-girls” at the time, I can’t remember magazines and TV following them with the same obsession that is given to the Kardashians, Jade Goody and other people famous for doing nothing. It never occurred to me that it could be interesting (I think Big Brother has a *lot* to answer for).
I don’t remember it being so important for singers to be ridiculously polished and young- or writhing around on all fours, which is a good thing. Pop music videos were happier! You can take it from me, or click the links below that I dredged up from the dark depths of Youtube.

Reserved for denim fetishists (unless you also like teenage boys in sloppily-tied bondage)

Nothing happier than dancing flowers (but actually it’s kind of cute)

Well, duh!

Obviously I don’t wish I was back in the 90′s- after all, in more recent decades gay marriage has been legalised in many places, Rage Against The Machine made Christmas number 1, I can wear leather stuff in public without people wondering why my mother lets me go out like that, women’s rights are improving, George Bush is no longer President and there are talks of making ‘ecocide’ a crime (which rocks). Oh, and Florence and the Machine exists, even if rock music hasn’t produced any more Led Zeppelins.

Maybe I’m just being all old and stuff, but it seems to me that 90′s (female) role models were people who did something new, or made a good idea popular (girl power, angry girl music eg Alanis Morissette/Garbage etc) whereas now, female role models are women who fight against the current craze of doing nothing except pouting and wearing make-up.
By the way, if you’re interested in fantastic women, have a look at this page. Some I agree with, some I don’t, and some I wrote.

Here are a couple of pictures taken long ago (but not the 90′s!) by Matt Frederick. They have nothing to do with this post.
Make-up: Me
Catsuit: Kindly lent by Libidex

ROSWELL xxx

All about the chest harnesses!

I’m all about the chest harnesses at the moment!
I can’t wear long necklaces as my honking great bazookas get in the way, but chest harnesses are great and look all sci-fi/fantasy and stuff… and they’re now on sale at Topshop.
I also treated myself to a lovely new one from HMSlatex for my Ireland tour… where wouldn’t you know, the customs guys opened my bag to a world of ball-gag related embarrassment. They eventually let me go on my merry way and the next day, I had my first photoshoot, which was with Gareth Byrd. As it was a nice mild day, I did my make-up outside, where the swallows were flitting above our heads the whole time. Very lovely!

Thankyou to all the designers who lent me outfits for this tour- I’ve credited you under the images here. (If you are a designer and would like to lend me anything for photoshoots, just send me a message and I’ll let you know what projects/publications I have coming up)

Photographer: Gareth Byrd
Assistant: Fran
Make-up: Me

Harness: Topshop (really!)

Harness and pasties: Lux Tenebrae
Skirt: AM-Statik

Birthday suit: Me!

Dress: Custom-made for me by Anatomic Bomb!

Harness: HMSlatex

And as Gareth’s reference made me grin like a fool and go bright red, I’m going to post it here:

“I’ve worked with over 60 models and Roswell is definitely in my top two.
With regard to organising a shoot, her email responses are quick and clear. Which makes everything run smoother and gives you great confidence in her abilities for the day of the shoot.
Her performance on the day was superb:
She was on time. Had flawless makeup. She also had a huge array of costumes. But most importantly had a never-ending arsenal of poses, perfectly suited to each lighting set up. From art-nude to fetish – she nailed it!
In conclusion, the number of ‘keeper’ shots I got was enormous. This was in no small part due to the quality and professionalism of the model.
If you have the chance to book her – jump at it!
Roswell Ivory comes HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.“

It’s a short post today as I have a novel to write and I also have to get up early to pose for an artist tomorrow (!) but I’ll be back to talk to you about sea creatures and naughty stuff soon…

ROSWELL xxx